Manchester United chooses Maxgain

To him, every bed is a battlefield feeling it coming

After another long day on his feet, he was glad to see the sun start another slow decent into the horizon. Only a few more minutes of blinding light stood between him and the seemingly less arduous task of trekking back to the camp. He welcomed the thought of another evening of cheap booze and a few friendly rounds of poker, but dreaded his eventual return to this same god-forsaken spot tomorrow.

Peering into the last brilliant sliver of the day he noticed something. His eyes playing tricks on him. He was sure there it had to be real. There appeared to be humanoid figure standing just outside of his patrol area. This was the first time since he was given this post that he actually had seen something. He quickly attempted to recall the details of his original orders. When he could identify his visitor he would know how to react, but he needed to act fast. He didn't want another accident.

As he continued to gaze into darkening skyline he could make out a slight movement. He was sure the figure was slowly shambling toward him. Who ever this visitor was they weren't attempting to communicate, but at the same time they were not attempting to hide their position. While continuing to squint at the stranger, the distance between them was slowly diminishing. He needed to make a decision now or the whole operation...

[Click]

"...and another odd choice for everybody's favorite team as Manchester United chooses..."

[Click]

"...Maxgain is a proven choice for Male amplification when..."





Billy's mother had woken up and was clicking through all the channels once again. Billy relished the fleeting time he had between when either of his parents would fall asleep with a particularly suspenseful program on and when they would eventually wake again. The blankets in the master bedroom, with their varied natural colors and rough texture, were the perfect environment for his soldiers to carry out any number of survival maneuvers or suicidal rescue missions. Billy picked up his soldiers, who had been scattered by the now awakened left foot and moved downstairs. Maybe his brother had left a TV on down there, it had been several weeks since the last time he to work a detective story into the ongoing narrative.

Your relationship guide

What you can fit in 3 square centimeters

I accept your challenge spambot! Can I fit a complete relationship guide in 3 square centimeters? You bet I can. When in times of trouble I have always had one shining golden spot of advice. I picked it up while browsing the web and reading some random blogs.

[Source]

Schizzle my nizzle now

Biggest monster manhood is 18inches long, you can have it too.

Roughly translated the subject of the Spam is "Sure my nigga now" (You too can become an expert -izzle translator by reading the Wikipedia Entry). Translating it to National News Broadcast speak you get "Yes! My Friend, this is the Day!" To mine own ears this sounds a lot like something I would expect to spew forth from the mouth of America's favorite OxyContin (Hillbily Heroin) addict, Rush Limbaugh.

Now that we have established a base reference we can more closely examine the reference to the 18 inch monster that you can purchase. Obviously at 18 inches you can only expect a toy replica.. but what monster does Mr. Limbaugh prefer? The classic Frankenstein? The retro Critters? The timeless Killer Tomatoes? The team of Spam Explained investigators has found a striking resemblance between Mr. Limbaugh and the oft ignored Minilla of the Godzilla series.


Not only do they have the same smile, they can both create smoke at will (Minilla's smoke blowing is not documented as well as Limbaugh's).


There you have it. Conclusive evidence that Limbaugh is related to Godzilla, so we can only assume that Godzilla is Limbaugh's favorite monster... so now you can feel free to purchase your 18 inch Godzilla Toy!