I would argue that there is not substitute for a classic pecker in lovemaking to a lady. Why do you have to go and monkey around with a perfect classic and update it just for "extra effect." That's bullshit and you know it. If I'm lovemaking to a lady and we are watching a Woody Woodpecker cartoon I want the classic 1940's bat-shit insane Woody Woodpecker. The classic pecker just ran around and caused chaos. He didn't give a rat's ass about his neighbors or trying to play golf or some other random crap. He lived to create pain and chaos. When I'm lovemaking to a lady I don't want to be distracted because the newly-formulated Woody Woodpecker is trying to teach his niece and nephew some fucking nonsense morality.
It used to be you could have some nice lovemaking to a lady while watching cartoons and not be bothered because it was all crazy ass shit and you didn't need to pay attention. Woody Woodpecker was gonna laugh at some woodland creatures, Snagglepuss was going to do something really really offensively gay, Daffy Duck was gonna laugh at some dumb hunters, and Bugs Bunny was gonna dress up as a lady rabbit for no reason. It was a simpler time for lovemaking to a lady, and I miss it.
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