Scandal rocks Obama as lurid sex video leaked

Click here for the best soccer goals of the century.

Sometimes even the greatest minds at Spam Explained (The Blog you are reading) are boggled by disparate topics. Obviously politics and sex videos are extremely popular so that is an excellent lead in. Then we get a message about the best soccer goals. I would normally assume they were using "goal" as some kind of sexual innuendo, in an attempt to sell me Male Enhancement drugs but upon inspecting the link (yes I click spam links) it sent me to a 404 for a site that looks like Brazilian High School student's Web Design 101 project (nothing blinking, but two different scrolling bars).

Here is my best guess, but please keep in mind this is 99% speculation and 1% unicorn dreams.

A fairly run of the mill Brazilian High School student with a rudimentary knowledge of web technologies hatched a plan to get major hits on his site. He realized that if his page hit the front page on Digg he would be waist deep in not money. As the pseudo-scientist that he is known to be among his friends checked the front page of Digg for 3 whole hours to come to the conclusioun that pages that had Top 10 Greatest Videos did fairly well.

This pioneering student knew that with the EuroCup in full swing, American love for Soccer will be reaching feverish heights with almost one bar in every state showing a game on one TV in the corner. So he capitalized on this and dug through his stack of Soccer games on VHS tapes that his family has been archiving since October 22nd 1989 to find the Greatest Soccer Goals of All Time.

Once of those videos featured a phenomenal shot by the hot shot rookie Ronaldo who was able to blast a shot straight through the goal, rip a whole in the net of the goal and land the ball in the lap of a young fresh faced African American Male with no fewer than 3 scantily clad women who were also trying land in his lap, if you know what I mean.

Upon posting his Top 10 Videos it was quickly noticed by a few astute Conspiracy theorists that that young man who was the lucky recipient of a Ronaldo kick to the groin bore a striking resemblance to a certain young fresh faced African American Male Senator from Illinois who is currently in the midst of a history Presidential Race. Yes, Barak Obama.

Well, this lurid sex video that was poised to rock Obama with scandal was eventually glanced at by a series of sharp eyed Diggers who proclaimed it "FAKE" and "p0wned" and "REPOST". Thusly our brave Brazilian webmaster's list was laughed off the face of the internet, and he had to post the only content that he had left... a Mock-Up of a website that earned him a C+ in Sr. Sanchez's class.

I postulate that I received this message from a Republican funded email group that was going to spread this video as far and as wide as possible before it was shamed from the world wide web.